Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!

by Joe Juba on Mar 25, 2010 at 01:37 PM

Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!

Over the years, I've accumulated a sizable collection of awesome (in my opinion) figures to adorn my desk. The problem? A desk stops serving its primary function when various toys take up all the room. This month, I was faced with some tough decisions in order to free up space – what gets to stay on my desk, and what becomes a casualty? In this blog entry, I'll let the winners take their victory lap.

Now, I realize that this is totally a nerd-exclusive dilemma. Determining if the Saint of Killers or Bahamut gets to continue holding a place of honor on a desk is not a  choice that normal people have to make. Still, I actually enjoyed the process. I wanted to clear up a drastic amount of space (I filled two boxes with the losers), so I had to be pretty unforgiving. I found that whether or not a toy got to stay on my desk relied on two main factors: how much I liked the figure itself, and how much I liked the source material it came from. As a result, the following survivors tend to be characters from my favorite games.

Kratos and KOS-MOS
Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!

Kratos is just awesome...I don't think I need to explain that. As for KOS-MOS, I had several smaller figures of her to choose from,  but I decided to keep the one that featured her Xenosaga: Episode I design. The less I think about Episode II, the better.

Dante and Virgil
Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!
No matter how much I hate how the DMC series spells Virgil, I can't argue with the fact that this pair of figures from Devil May Cry 3 is totally sweet. I had a small Nelo Angelo figure also, but he ultimately ended up in the loser pile.

Companion Cube

Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!
Look, I'm not going to pretend to be clever by tossing around some Portal reference you've heard a hundred times before. I like the Companion Cube. If I had a GLaDOS toy, I would have kept that out instead. But, as far as I can tell, no such thing exists.

Little Guys
Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!

These things don't take up much space, and are neat in their own way. I really like the movie Princess Mononoke, so the Kodama had to stick around. Alexander is basically a robo-church, which I support. Oh, and I made that Green Knight myself.
Sander Cohen
Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!
When I visited Irrational Games last year, I was fortunate enough to receive this statue of Sander Cohen. He's pretty much the coolest character in BioShock, so there's no way I'm packing him away.

Old Snake
Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!
Given how much I love Metal Gear Solid 4, this one might seem like a no-brainer...but it was a harder call than you might think. I also had the old McFarlane version of Solidus Snake, which is one of the most awesome toys I've seen. Ultimately, I had to side with Solid.

Lenneth and Freya
Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!
If you haven't played Tri-Ace's Valkyrie Profile, you won't understand why these were must-keeps (also, you should play Valkyrie Profile). Here's a pathetic story about the Lenneth figure: I paid $40 for it at a specialty toy shop in Akihabara when I was in Japan for TGS a couple years ago.

Cloud and Sephiroth
Spring Cleaning: Get Off My Desk, Loser Toys!
These are the Advent Children versions of these characters. Final Fantasy figures from the Play Arts line used to dominate a full 50% of my desk. Now these two are all that remain at the office. It wasn't easy to say goodbye to Heretic Bahamut. It was easy to throw FF X-2 Yuna, Rikku, and Paine in the reject bin, however.

So, that covers all the winners. In order to avoid repeating this process every year, I'll need to be a little more judicious about what figures I buy...though I already have a few spots reserved for the upcoming Bayonetta figures, Mass Effect 2 figures, and (if I can ever find them) Valkyria Chronicles figures. What about you? What toys do you have that earn the right to be prominently displayed?