The magazine is back. Get your subscription now!

We All Suck At Fighting The Boss Of Tekken 6

by Dan Ryckert on Oct 27, 2009 at 11:58 AM

Tekken 6 is a fun fighting game. However, it subscribes to the old "the final boss needs to be ludicrously cheap" mindset that's been in place as long as the genre has existed. From Shao Kahn to Street Fighter IV's Seth, the overpowered boss with almost impossible-to-block attacks has been a staple that even hardcore fighting fans can have trouble with.

After being bested by Tekken 6's Azazel a downright silly amount of times, I thought I'd pull some other GI staffers in to see how they fared against the spiky beast's lasers, somersaults, and spikes. Here are some choice words they had to say during their experience.

TIM TURI:

"It's like some kind of ****ing crystal dragon jackal"

"This is not a fair fight."


ANNETTE GONZALEZ:

"What the **** is that?  I can't shoot ****ing lasers.  This is stupid."

"What the **** is...wait...go to hell...oh, **** this."


JEFF MARCHIAFAVA:

"Weird...my little Japanese schoolgirl isn't beating this giant demon."

"I think I hit him once."

JEFF CORK:

"This guy is the worst..."

"**** that."


NICK AHRENS:

"I'll try Bob so I can see his butt physics."

"Oh, so he can cheat.  That's great."

"He's summoning like a Final Fantasy character.  This is bull****."

SEAN LOWERY:

"I hit him one time. I'm really proud of that."


ANDREW REINER:

"I just realized I forgot how to fight as Law." (quit after Round 1)


BEN REEVES:

"Why does the panda have beads? I want the grizzly bear."


JOE JUBA:

"What button does what?"  (Joe lost)



After exhausting every strategy, I was finally able to take Azazel down with an incredibly cheap flurry of Hwoarang kicks. Tekken 6 just hit the shelves, so feel free to post your Azazel horror stories in the comments section below. Prepare yourself for seeing this screen an awful lot, however: