* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
* Chuck Norris doesnt read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allowed to live
* Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris
* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits
* Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding*Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
* There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist
* Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush
* Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is
* Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
* Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
* Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open
* Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
There is in fact an “I” in Norris, but there is no “team”… not even close.
Chuck Norris always has SEX on the first date. ALWAYS
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris can pop wheelie on a unicycle.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldnt take *** from anybody.
Lol that's a pretty good one.
Only CHUCK NORRIS can prevent forest fires.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
There is no CTRL button on Chuck Norris's keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris CAN just eat one Lay's Potato Chip
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's ***.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
So many good facts... too bad Bruce Lee beat him though. Bruce Lee should be getting this credit... but in a way these jokes mock Chuck Norris so maybe not.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasnt Jesus's birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
Wow someone's quite obsessed, and you took the "cancer curing" joke, I was just about to post that, argh!
Chuck Norris smokes a cigar in a single breath.
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made out of real cowboys!!!
Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion, now Neo is "The Two"
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.