Succeeding In Ow, My Balls!

Succeeding in Ow, My Balls! has much less to do with performing in-game tasks well, and much more to do with orchestrating humorous nutshots. Sure, there's a full scoring system, an assortment of achievements, and 27 targets to hit, but that all plays second fiddle when a cartoon man's balls are woefully un-racked.

While my achievement lust has been well-documented lately on this site, a few arbitrary points mean nothing to me when put up against hilarious nutshots (my priorities are in order). Therefore, this guide is not about how to rack up the highest score, bur rather how to make your nut-crushing adventure as humorous as possible.

After an unknown assailant kicks you off the roof, it's your job to fart yourself towards as many painful environmental objects as possible. I will name most of them below, in order of Least Hilarious to Most Hilarious.


Least Hilarious

Trash Can
Antenna
Sawhorse
Satellite Dish
Bird (unless farted on, which puts them significantly closer to Most Hilarious)
Car
Flagpole
Fire Hydrant
Power Lines
BBQ Grill
Fence
Hot Dog Stand
Wrecking Ball
Blimp
Unicorn

Most Hilarious



If you'd prefer to get the money shot out of the way as soon as possible, I suggest starting things out with a light ball kick. Done properly, this should direct your character's testicles directly down onto a red car, humorously triggering its alarm.

Those looking for more advanced nutshot maneuvers will need to hone their farting abilities to direct your character towards beans and more objects. Birds are frequent in the environment, and farting on birds is funny. Because of this, I suggest using these as both a source of humor and a method of propelling yourself towards more testicular pain. Even a slight fart on a bird's head can be enough to inch you ever closer to the next bean pickup. Once this is acquired, you'll have a new lease on your farting life.

A crucial ally in your quest will be the BBQ grills. As any physics professor or cartoon will teach you, farting on a lit grill will cause it to emit a miniature mushroom cloud and propel you dozens of feet into the air. This will be a key gameplay maneuver that you will need to master if you wish to maximize the amount of nutshots per attempt (also necessary for the "Roasted Nuts," "Roasted Nuts x5," and "Roasted Nuts x10" achievements).

Your first several attempts in Ow, My Balls! will likely land you far short of the wrecking ball at the far right of the map. It is recommended that you practice until you're able to consistently reach this, as it can propel you towards other objects and beans. In addition, it is notably humorous to see a man be struck in the testicles repeatedly by a wrecking ball. If you have enough gas built up, you can even use your momentum from the wrecking ball to reach the unicorn at the top of a nearby building. This is especially recommended, as farting on a unicorn is a funny thing to do.

Advanced users should be directed towards the "Record Effects" option on the main menu. With this, you can record your own voice for use in-game. You can make your character yell anything you'd choose during the initial ball kick and up to three unique impacts. It is also possible to record your fart effect, but the stock sound is certainly adequate. Only venture into the "record fart" option if you have a particularly impressive one on deck.

As previously stated, striving for high scores or achievements should be discouraged if you're a true nutshot connoisseur. However, there is one invaluable reward for playing at the top of your game. The game features 22 unlockable videos, and all are predictably hilarious. Here's a taste of what to expect:

Like Mass Effect, Heavy Rain, or the Fable series, your experience with this game is very much your own. Your decisions as you play have great consequences, and fully determine how entertaining your experience will be. One highlight of my experience was farting on a blimp, causing it to go into a fiery decline. While that moment struck a particular chord with me, others may find similar joy in racking themselves on a flagpole or crushing a picket fence with nothing more than the force of your descending testicles. Regardless of your approach, the game comes highly recommended for anyone who's ever laughed at that dude on America's Funniest Home Videos who totally nails himself in the balls with some nunchuks.