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Harmonix Announces Metal Gear Game; Konami Now Totally Irrelevant

by Matt Miller on Sep 09, 2010 at 12:05 PM

After stealing the music and dance game market from Konami, Harmonix is going in for the kill.

In a move that many industry insiders have suspected for some time, Harmonix today revealed Metal Gear Band Central. Though the game represents the first action game concept that Harmonix has pilfered from Konami, Harmonix has already successfully made Guitar Freaks and Karaoke Revolution better with Guitar Hero and Rock Band, and looks to be completely destroying any hopes Dance Dance Revolution ever had of a relaunch with the upcoming release of Dance Central.

"We've had such tremendous success taking Konami's ideas and making them a hundred times better," explains Harmonix co-founder Alex Rigopulos in a recent press release. "We just figured, why stop while we're ahead? It just seems like the next logical step in bridging the gap between Konami's games and the players who don't play them."

The new game's core gameplay mechanics remain unconfirmed, but Harmonix is confident that their take on Metal Gear will blow previous games in the franchise out of the water. "I don't know exactly how it's going to work, " admitted Rigopulos. "Maybe Snake will have a guitar. Maybe he'll just shoot stuff and wait through extra-long cinematic sequences. Whatever we do, you can be confident that it'll make all the previous games in the franchise pale in comparison."

Added Rigopulos, "Hey, do they still make those Yu-Gi-Oh games? We could totally do that."

Reached for comment, Metal Gear series creator Hideo Kojima seemed unfazed by Harmonix's announcement, or by Konami's decreasing relevance to a Western audience. "Have you seen our new trailer? Snake's in a cardboard box again!"

(This piece is a parody. All quotes are fictitious)